Calmly
by Jem Tiers
Summary: Rikku and Brother explore their feelings for each other...but it doesn't turn out like they thought.


A/N: _Another_ request fic. And yes, I realize how fucked up this one is, thank you very much. Apparently I like incest or something though. Yeah. Because…read my Chrono Trigger fic for more on that. And I realize, I'm a horrible person. Anyway, hopefully _someone_ enjoys this, because I feel some seriously deep shame for writing it.

--

"Hey, Brother, think you can take a break from flying this thing?" Rikku asked in Al Bhed. She wanted to talk to him about what had happened with her over the past couple of days. And not in the sense of events, either. She meant emotionally.

It was kind of screwed up, she knew that. But of course Brother wouldn't share her feelings, so she hoped talking to him would involve him talking her out of it.

…or something, anyway.

He laughed. "Nope, sorry, sis," he told her. "Not now, anyway. But when we dock tonight, wherever it is, if you have time, we can talk then."

_Okay_, she thought weakly. "I think I'll be able to then. Promise?"

"Wait, what as I promising?" he asked, his voice distracted.

"You'll talk with me tonight?" she clarified, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice.

"Sure, yeah. I promise." Brother told her.

RIkku walked away, her heart doing cartwheels. She went through the ship's halls aimlessly, thinking too hard about Brother.

She went on like this for quite a while, and as she got more and more worked up about him, began to walk faster and faster.

That is, until she ran into Lulu. The older woman looked down at her, studied her face for a moment, and frowned. "Rikku, come with me."

Rikku blushed once she turned around, but followed obediently. They walked for a short time and finally stopped at the door to Lulu's room, which she opened.

As soon as they both entered and the door was closed, Lulu faced Rikku and said, "What's going on?"

"Um…what do you mean?" Rikku asked.

Lulu sighed and shook her head. "Rikku, don't play dumb. You're not. What's going on with you? You've been acting strange lately. You know what I mean."

Rikku avoided Lulu's gaze and awkwardly toed the floor. When she didn't say anything for some time, Lulu look on a sterner tone. "Rikku, what is it?" she demanded. "Out with it, come on."

"It's…um…" she cleared her throat. "It's Brother," she admitted, her face turning bright red.

Lulu was silent for a moment or two, then said, "Shit, Rikku."

"I know," she said quietly. "He's just…I mean, he's so…that is to say—"

Lulu shook her head again. "Rikku…you and Brother are siblings," she said, her tone measured but showing a tiny hint of disgust.

Rikku looked down and said in a voice so low it was almost inaudible, "I love him."

"Are you kidding me, Rikku?" Lulu said, her voice flat. "You should love your brother—but not like that! Do you really and truly know how fucked up this is?"

"Yeah, of course!" Rikku said angrily. "Stop judging me! Seriously, like you should talk! You and Wakka—it's almost the same!"

"Wakka and I might be _like _brother and sister, but we're _not_ related," she said through her teeth. "Look, I don't care anymore. You can go fuck Brother for all I care. I was trying to look out for you, but apparently it's not worth it. Get out."

"Lulu, I'm sorry," Rikku said coldly. "But it's not your job to handle my love life." She proceeded to stalk out the door.

--

Night began to fall while they were flying over the Calm Lands. Brother landed the ship, and, as promised, came to talk to Rikku.

"What's on your mind, Rikku?" he asked casually, as soon as he found her.

Rikku knew that her moment had come. Her heart started to pound and her palms began to sweat. Suddenly, she wished she had prepared for this better. "I…um…well…" she stammered.

Brother smiled a mocking smile at her. "Well, this is new. I don't think I've ever seen you at a loss for words. Come on, out with it."

She took a deep breath, and let it out. "I love you," she said all at once, the words becoming jumbled.

But apparently, he got the message. "Oh, Rikku," he said, his voice suddenly very quiet and serious. "That's pretty messed up."

She felt tears in the corners of her eyes. "Um, well…you know…" she choked out.

"Don't be like that," Brother said. "I…well, to tell you the truth…I kind of like you too…"

Rikku hugged him profusely, just enjoying the feeling of his body against hers.

His body, and then something else, that was rubbing her waistline every time she moved.

Brother leaned down and began to kiss her fiercely. Between kisses, however, he asked, "Do you think this is really wrong? We can stop—"

But Rikku had other ideas. "I don't care, do you?" she asked breathily, nudging his nether regions with her hands.

"No," he very near groaned.

"We shouldn't do it out here," she said, indicating the far-from-private hallway they currently occupied. It was a miracle no one had found them there, really.

"You're right," he said, grinning. Then, his face returned to its previous seriousness as he asked, "Are you sure you want to…?

In response, she simply kissed him. And that seemed to work. He took he hand and led her to his room, which, conveniently, was close by.

It was when they both had their clothes off that she had to make the final decision. So far, Brother had been a gentle and patient lover, in the way he asked her before he did pretty much anything, and took it slow. But she had to decide if she really wanted to do _it_, or chicken out.

Even if she didn't think of it as having sex with her brother, she was scared of it.

She broke away from him and said sadly, "I'm sorry…I'm not ready."

Brother lay down next to her and nodded. "I knew that would happen." He paused, but decided to continue. "And frankly, I'm glad."

"Huh? I thought you said—" Rikku said, bewildered.

But Brother interrupted her. "I was telling the truth, but…I wouldn't feel right, taking your virginity like you're just another girl. You deserve someone who…well, isn't your brother. Someone who isn't wrong to be in a relationship with."

Tears formed in the corners of her eyes again, but she refused to let them fell. "I guess you're right."

"Go get some sleep, Rikku. I guess…if you…you know, actually want to do this with me some other time, we can, but…"

"It's okay," she whispered, a lump in her throat.

They lay in silence for a few minutes before Rikku stood up, put on her clothes, and left without another word.

She probably looked like a mess, she thought, but she wanted to do something before she went back to her room.

"Hey, Lulu," she said, opening the door to the woman's room.

Belatedly, she realized she should have knocked first. Lulu and Wakka were entwined on the bed, moaning loudly.

Thankfully, Lulu was on the bottom and had a clear view of the door. She noticed Rikku almost immediately, her eyes widening.

"We're cool," Rikku mouthed and closed the door. And not in a moment too soon, it appeared; their moans reached a crescendo and she heard them crying each other's names.

Rikku smiled to herself and went to her own room.


End file.
